This evening, Mr. B and I were watching the movie, Our Family Wedding. This movie just brought to light how very much into romance and fairy tales and happily ever afters I am.

Good grief! Do I miss romance! I was going through some things in the coat closet a couple weeks ago and came across a Valentine's day card from my Hunny. This card marked his romantical climax, I think, because there hasn't been anything that has come close to that since...

This card was laying out for me on morning and the instructions on it said not to open it until I got to work (at that time I was working at FAT- the title& escrow company). when I got to work, I opened it and rose petals fell out. I read....

For My Wife
My Forever Love
I'm going to love you forever,
There isn't a doubt
in my mind,
because all of the love
that I feel in my heart
in the "will last forever" kind.
I'm going to love you for always,
not "maybe," I know that it's true,
From the time
we first kissed,
I knew in my heart
my forever love would be you.
Happy Valentine's Day
-Hallmark Expressions
His hand written note stated this:
For every rose petal that falls out
this card is how many times a day
I think of you. how many times a
day I say in my head how lucky I
am to have such a lovely wife. How
many times a day I wish I could
                     say I love you.
Mr. B

Anyway, the reason I am thinking about this is because of that freakin movie I mentioned earlier. In the movie they are going through all the motions of planning a wedding and that got me to thinking that Mr. B and I never had a wedding. Then, I started thinking that we'll never have a wedding due to circumstances beyond our control. That made me sad.

For a girl who believes in fairy tales, I don't get to have one. Yes, I have my man and my babies and yadda, yadda, yadda... I wanted a wedding. I wanted a dress, vows spoken before our friends and family, a reception with cheesy music...I wanted it all.
Instead, we totally skipped that step and I will forever be a bridesmaid, never the bride. That makes me even more sad.
So I'll be spending the rest of my life, envying every bride I meet, having visions of a day that will never come for me. And as I sit here and dream of romance that once was, all I'll have is this card and dried rose petals to cling to because there isn't a wedding album or anything...
Don't get me wrong, I am not regretting the life that I have. I wouldn't trade it in for anything; not even a wedding. I think I'm just longing for some of the romance to reappear. Life is hectic and truly, at the end of the day, I'm too tired for romance.
But, I am going to try to inject a touch of romance back into our relationship, if it kills me. Then, perhaps Mr. B will follow...I'll keep you posted.

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