The phone call I received left some things to be desired (sometimes, technology sucks nuggets). I heard "had the baby and she is fine, but...crackle, crackle... complications....crackle, crackle...blood vessel...crackle, crackle....in her brain. It's not good. I'll let you know when I know more."
At first, I was numb, then I was overwhelmed with the need to know more. When someone could explain things to me, I wasn't listening because I was in shock. After my shock, I was weak with sadness. I'm thinking of the situation and how similar it is to the heartache my friend has lived with all her life and refusing to even believe her newborn is going to live with the same ache.
If it wasn't February 29th, does that mean my friend wouldn't be in this situation? Could we just skip over today and move on to tomorrow where everything is all right? Where my friend is able to enjoy her beautiful family?
Our friendship is special because we have been friends for so very long. We have lifetimes worth of memories, but just because we've had so much, does that mean we've had TOO much? That's not fair. I feel like someone is trying to cheat me.
I'm just at a loss at the moment. I need comforting and I want someone who knows just how she hugs, to hug me until things are all better. I want to hug her. I don't think I have ever uttered the words "I am so afraid" and meant it will all my being. I am afraid of not having her anymore....
I really wish it was a simple as it not being February 29th.